Building Your Child's Self-esteem

Boy with raised arms and fists showing his excitement for recent success and high self esteem.

Self-esteem is important for children's development. It encompasses children's feelings about their competence and worth, their ability to confront and master challenges and to learn from their failures as well as their successes. Parents can improve children's self-esteem by creating an environment that encourages a sense of control and responsibilities for one's life.

Strategies for Building Self-esteem

  • Give encouragement and positive feedback. All children need to feel special and appreciated. Recognise your child's strengths and acknowledge your child's accomplishments. Make encouraging remarks for your child's hard work.
  • Provide opportunities for your child to make choices and decisions. When children have opportunities to learn how to make decisions, they begin to believe that they have responsibility and control over their lives.
  • Encourage your child to solve problems independently. One of the best ways to help children develop self-esteem is to provide them with opportunities for assuming responsibilities and solving problems in their everyday lives. Encourage your child to help out at home and at school.
  • Avoid comparison and criticisms. How children respond to failure has much to do with the messages they received about themselves. Negative messages such as 'Everyone else can do it. Why can't you?' may lead children view themselves negatively.
  • Teach your child to learn from mistakes. All children make mistakes. Some children grow up believing that making mistakes is proof of failure or the result of imperfections that cannot be changed. Teach your child that mistakes are a valuable and integral part of the learning process. Help your child become comfortable with sharing and discussing mistakes with you. Emphasise what your child knows and can do.
  • Help your child build islands of competence. One of the ways that you can help your child build self-esteem is to ensure some islands of competence. Children need to become good at something and to develop their potentials. Engage children in activities they enjoy or are good at, such as singing, painting, dancing, playing ballgames or taking care of animals.

Children's self-esteem is likely to have a significant impact on how they view themselves, cope with problems and deal with challenges. As a parent, you are in the best position to build and foster your child's self-esteem. Your commitment, support and encouragement will help your child recognise his or her own strengths. Being proud, patient and persistent will help increase your child's self-esteem.






Reference:
Government of Hong Kong Special Administrative Region, Department of Health, Student Health Services (Reviewed 2014, 9 December). Psychosocial health: Building your child's self-esteem. Retrieved 23 December 2014 from https://www.studenthealth.gov.hk/eindex.html

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