How do I get someone to accept my apology?
You can't make someone accept your apology or anything else you have to say, but you can control the way you say it. If your apology is not perceived as being sincere, words alone will not mend the relationship. 'Sorry' is a behaviour.
A sincere apology has three elements. First, you must accept full responsibility for your actions without blaming other people or circumstances. Second, acknowledge how your actions impacted the other person. There's a tendency to rush through this step because it can be uncomfortable. Keep listening until the other person feels understood. Third, commit to changing your future behaviour to support your apology.
Here's an example of what a sincere apology sounds like: 'I want to apologise for the way I behaved yesterday. After listening to you, I realise how much pain and embarrassment I caused. I want you to know that in the future, I will be more aware of my comments and how they affect you and other people. I'm sorry.' Have reasonable expectations for an apology. Trust is built over time, not in a moment.
Susan Fee is a licensed counsellor, business and personal coach, and college instructor. She is the author of Positive First Impressions, Secrets of Successful Presentations, Dealing with Difficult People, Building Resiliency, and the college survival guide My Roommate Is Driving Me Crazy! (Adams Media). She can be reached through her website at www.susanfee.com or by email at Susan_Fee@msn.com.
Reference:
Fee, S. (Reviewed 2020 [Ed.]). Difficult conversations: The art of the apology (B. Schuette, Ed.). Communication Tip Sheet, January 2006 edn.